Reveille

[It is 5AM. So oh god why is your PDA making so much noise. You could have sworn that only Councilors could override them like that and...Oh.

The following is very loud and obnoxious.]

Come on lads and lasses, up you get! There's been far too much slacking around here lately and I, for one, will have no more of it! Everyone is to meet me at the west enterance to the grounds in twenty minutes for a morning jog. I guess we can keep it easy for now, since some of you seem out of shape. We'll start with, say, two miles.

[Dynamic Antics Action]

[Hey, you know that oft-forgotten detail of how the Agent Dorm floors have communal shower areas? And you know how Sunny can make people lose their way by refracting light creatively?

Well, the fairies aren't immediately visible, although they are hiding - quite expertly - within watching range of said showers, switching floors whenever they suspect someone's on to their plot. And what is that plot? The random switching of the boys' and girls' shower rooms. Not always, because then people would all just be using the wrong facilities - no, one person at a time, at the most inopportune moments.

In short, there sill be a sudden rash of Agents accidentally walking in on the other gender's showers. Or maybe trying to get to their rooms and winding up in the showers instead. Chaos and antics.

So tag as either a victim or an unintentional voyeur, and let the others jump in to fill the other role!]
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[Audio]

[Rincewind eyes the device incredulously. He read the important bits of the manual very carefully, and there was some sort of little blinking light on it now. With little words under it that said "NOW RECORDING." Hrm.]

Er, Hello.

I'm Rincewind.

[A pause. The light is still blinking. It looks somehow unsatisfied.]

I'm rather new here.

[How about that? ...no, it's still waiting for something.]

...I'm a wizard. From Ankh-Morpork.

[All this pressure is making him a little uncomfortable.

......So, yes.

[Rincewind ends the transmission, before the NOW RECORDING light can blink at him any more.]